Coming Back from No Where
by Hannah Rubix
Summary: She felt the stares burning holes in her back and almost turned around, ready to scream at whomever she saw. Coming back to Degrassi was one of the most terrifying things she ever had to do.


Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi or anything involved

I know, another Darcy story. But I can really relate to her. Please rate & review

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Coming back to Degrassi was a big step for her, something she felt she could barely do alone. Darcy eyed the school nervous as she got out of her mother's car, muttering a quick goodbye. "Darcy, you don't have to do this. You could wait a bit longer; maybe spend a bit more time with the counselor?" Her mother suggested, her voice strained with worry. Darcy shook her head, and tried to put on a smile for her mother. The smile didn't quite reach her eyes, but at least it seemed to comfort her mom. "Mom, don't worry. I'm going to be fine, it's just school." It wasn't just school, her entire life revolved around what was going on here. Her mother reluctantly nodded, seemingly comforted. "Be careful," her mom said finally. "And don't forget, Ms. Sauve will see you at 3:30." Darcy rolled her eyes; she had talked to enough counselors. She was on suicide watch, and everyone wanted to know why she had done something like that. Only she was never, or at least, not now, going to tell. She couldn't, and even if she tried, the words wouldn't come out.

She waved her mother one final goodbye and walked up to the stairs of Degrassi. Almost as if set off by a timer, the whispers and the stares started once again. She shifted her bag, trying to ignore it all. It didn't work. It wasn't easy, coming back here. It took all of her will power not to bend over and throw up right here, not to sink to the ground and cry. She couldn't breath, she felt her will crumbling. She wanted to scream, she wanted to run back to her mother and cry herself out, she wanted to go back in time and stop everything. She wanted to go back to before everything, to before the day in the showers, before the ski trip, and before Lakehurst came here. She caught a few people laughing at her, and she didn't understand why. Why was it so funny that she had tried to kill herself? Did people find it funny that she had lost almost everything, almost everything that meant anything to her?

Not that anyone really knew what had happened to her. No one knew except Peter and Manny. And Darcy made them swear not to tell. She couldn't handle everyone knowing, she couldn't handle the looks of pity she would get and the way people would avoid her. _He_ would find her if people talked about it; he would find her and use her up again. He would grab her and shove her and touch her and hurt her again. He would never be found, no one would know who he was. He would find her here, and he would violate her again. Or, he would hurt not only her but other girls, or other people she cared about. He would touch her without caring if she said no. He would move his dirty hands all over her body as she tried to sleep, he would tug off her clothes without a second thought. He would take off his own and push himself into her, again and again, ignoring her moans of protest.

She shook her head, trying to get everything out of her head. She may not remember all of it, all of the pain and hurt, but what she did remember made her feel sick. She could barely breathe right then, she needed something to help her. She needed to get her mind off of it, what's past was past. All of it, Friendship Club, abstinence, respect, it was all over and gone. She would never have any of that back. She could see Kim's angry face, and could almost hear the gossip she had probably been spreading around. It wasn't fair. Darcy had worked hard for everything she had in her life, and with one night everything had been taken away. One night had ruined everything for her; one monster had made her want to die. She pulled her long sleeves of her sweater over her wrist, her fingers tracing the scars that were left there.

She could see the way people were looking at her, laughing mockingly and eyeing her with pity. She wished she could just disappear, go somewhere where nothing mattered, where everyone was happy no matter what. She knew that was impossible, but what she wanted most was to be with the people she cared about in this school. It was pure torture, walking in through the doors on her first day back and being completely alone. Manny and Peter weren't waiting for her like she thought they would be. Maybe they realized she wasn't worth it, just like everyone else. Darcy opened the door and walked into Degrassi Community School, her eyes trained on the ground. She felt even more alone than she did before, but she could still hear the savage whispers by her.

She didn't want to go to the damn counselor, but everyone thought she needed to. Even Peter and Manny, though not in many words. They didn't understand; she couldn't tell a complete stranger what had been done to her. She couldn't even tell her parents. Darcy tried not to meet anyone's eyes; she couldn't deal with the pressing stares. She wanted to just get this day over with, and forget about her meeting with Miss Sauve. Anyways, what kind of stupid name is Miss So-vay? She had never heard of the school counselor, and she didn't plan on talking to her. Darcy needed her life to go back to normal, she needed to forget about everything that happened and go back to being herself.

She made a beeline for her locker, alone. She would've thought that Manny had been waiting for her there, or maybe even Emma. But there was no one there, and she opened her locker while ignoring the whispers. It seemed like Chante had disappeared too. Darcy noticed a few of the cheerleaders at their lockers, pointing and whispering at her. Head cheerleaders were supposed to be pretty and perky, strong and independent. Not the type to try and kill themselves in the showers during a practice. She didn't care anymore about what those girls thought of her; she had better get used to being completely pitied by classmates and shunned by the Friendship Club.

Wrapped up in her own misery, Darcy picked up her Media Studies stuff and walked to the classroom. Since she was early, she would probably get the classroom to herself, and some actual time alone. Since she had gotten out of the hospital, there had always been someone there. Her mother, her father, her sister, her boyfriend, or one of her friends. She wanted to be alone, to prove to people she could be ok. Anyways, she had too much time to think about it, and being alone would finally give her the time to think things through even more, and maybe finally get out some of the tears that been choking her. She noticed that maybe she wasn't so early after all, but she still had time before class.

Weary, she opened the door to the Media Studies lab and was instantly surprised with shouts of "Welcome back!" Her eyes widened as she stared at the room, only two people inside of it. Manny walked over to her friend and gave her a hug. "Darcy, we're so glad you're back," Manny said, smiling hugely. Emma waved shyly, and Darcy felt herself grin. "Hey guys, I'm glad to be back." She tried to keep her voice normal, but she couldn't control the lump in her throat when she realized the person she had most wanted to see wasn't there.

Manny caught her worried look and laughed, thinking of something else entirely. Emma explained," We were going to wait for the entire class and Spirit Squad to be here, but I thought it might embarrass you. Besides, we have a present." Darcy shook her head, laughing quietly. "I've only been gone for, like, a week. I don't need anything." But Manny handed her the bag, and Darcy couldn't resist the urge to open it. Inside was…well, it was empty. She raised an eyebrow and Emma and Manny burst into giggles. "We figured it was the sort of present you had to get from someone you really care about, so we got you something smaller." This time, Manny pulled out a small charm bracelet with three charms on it. One was a cross, the other a tree, and the third one a video camera. "We thought the cross would symbolize you, the tree Emma, and the video camera me!" Manny squealed, grinning. "And I didn't mean the video Peter took of me, it symbolizes my acting."

Darcy immediately clasped it onto her wrist and smiled. "Thanks guys, this is so sweet." She admired the little charms on the bracelet before Emma interrupted. "Group hug!" She said, pulling Manny and Darcy into a warm hug. All of a sudden, Darcy heard a teasing wolf whistle behind her and spun around, only to come face to face with Peter. "Hey," he said, smiling faintly at the girls behind her, his eyes lighting up as he took in her petite frame. "Uhm…hi." Well, at least she managed to get a few words out of her mouth. "Welcome back," he said, putting his arms around her and she nestled into them like she would never leave. She looked, entranced into his formerly cold and now giddy blue eyes. Their gazing was broken by more laughter at Manny and Emma's part.

Darcy felt her cheeks heat up and she tore her gaze away from Peter, who seemed reluctant to stop looking at her. Manny came up and put her arm around Peter. "Anyways, he got you something." Peter glared at Manny, clearly put out his surprise was ruined. "Here," he mumbled shyly as she caught sight of the small box. Darcy raised an eyebrow. "You really didn't need to get anything." She kept on trying to convince him that she didn't need whatever it was just because she had hurt herself. "I'm not giving you this because of what you did; I'm giving you this because I love you." At those words, she couldn't put off opening the box.

Before she could fully grasp what the gift was, Peter swooped it up and fastened it around her neck. She felt for the golden locket on her neck and opened it. Inside there was a small picture of her and Peter, from that day in the gym, and on the other side was a picture of Manny, her, and Emma. She felt a huge grin on her face. "Thank you so much," she said, shaking her head slightly. "With all this jewelry, I feel like a princess or something." They all laughed at that and Peter replied quietly, "You deserve all of it." She felt a blush creep up on her cheeks and she lightly gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Don't forget Darce, we all love you. Don't ever scare us like that again." Darcy pulled her friends in for a hug, and held on to them all, promising never to let go.


End file.
